He sees our tomorrows

This post is raw ... talking about depression. In my book, Broken Road of Blessings: Turning Dead Ends to Destinations, I talk about times in my life when I struggled with depression. I did not talk about this in my book, however, but wanted to be transparent and share it.

When my children were young, I became very depressed. I was emotionally exhausted. My husband and I were not in a good place in our relationship and I did not talk about this with anyone. I held it inside and internalized everything. I became overwhelmed.

I remember the day vividly. My boys were in elementary school and the girls were with a friend. I was cleaning houses at the time and was on my way home. I was driving down a busy highway. My mind was not clear. I felt overwhelmed and mentally exhausted. I was crying, feeling very alone. The thought was instantaneous. It was not premediated or considered before it happened. It was a moment in time I will never forget. My thought ... "Veer into the other lane and hit the semi truck coming toward you."

But God ... He shook me from that place of darkness, despondency and hopelessness that I went to for that split second. I opened my eyes and through the blur of tears realized what happened. My hands gripped the steering wheel to go straight ahead. God, what am I doing?

What happened shook me to my very soul. How did I let myself get to that place? My first thought ... my children! I would never leave my children.

I remember saying over and over, thank you Lord for shaking me awake.

I knew I could never let my mind wander to that place again.

I knew changes had to be made in my life. I called my family. They had always been supportive, but I had not let them know the dark place I was in. Life had overwhelmed me. God's grace had saved me from a place of deep distress and darkness.

Lord, I pray if someone reading this is depressed, despondent, mentally and emotionally exhausted and thinks they cannot go through another day, please rescue them. Do not let that split second come quicker than they anticipate. Lord, I pray you shake them, place divine appointments in their life who can love them through a difficult time and show them they are loved and precious.

If you find yourself thinking about suicide or suffering from depression, please talk to a professional or someone you love and trust.

You are loved, you are worthy, you are precious.

"Because you are precious in my eyes, and honored, I love you ..." Isaiah 43:4 (ESV)

The enemy knows our weaknesses and He also knows we are powerful as children of God. God knew my future and He knows yours. He keeps writing our story. I have walked through valleys and shouted on mountaintops. I have been depressed, suffered with anxiety and been addicted to antidepressants and pain pills for migraines. He has set me free all of it.

God goes before me.

He sees all my tomorrows before they get to me.

"It took seeking God, some big prayers and faith believing He would deliver me from what I had depended on for so long. I began to pray. I had to act as if God was going to answer my prayers. That meant taking steps in faith. He moved heaven and earth to honor my faith! I had to put feet to my faith to walk in His blessings!" (Broken Road of Blessings - Turning Dead Ends to Destinations, pg. 3)

God loves you. His mercies for you are new every day! God can turn broken roads into beautiful blessings!

Be Blessed!

Terri